Disney’s California Adventure’s new Pixar Play Parade — or, as I’ve taken to calling it, Pixar Puddle Parade — is about as much fun as watching a parade in the rain. Actually, it’s exactly like watching a parade in the rain.Some people like to get wet at theme parks. I prefer to keep water where it belongs — in water parks. The mere sight of drenched people stepping off a white-water raft ride sends chills up and down my spine.
The new Pixar parade, which features characters from the animated movies, replaces the old Pixar parade, Block Party Bash, which — wait for it — featured characters from the animated movies.
The water theme of the new parade is immediately evident as “Cars” star Lightning McQueen leads the procession accompanied by a pair of women dressed as mops (no, sadly, I’m not kidding) who squirt the crowd with water bottles and sponge off the red roadster. The car wash gag is an apt metaphor because you are about to be put through a soaking fit for a Ford Mustang.
Before the first float had even passed, I’d been squirted in the eye twice and dried my face three times with my shirtsleeve. By the time the second float went by, I was suitably annoyed — as were others who were fleeing the parade route as if attacked by a swarm of bees. As the third float passed, I uttered words not appropriate for a family publication.
After the 12th and mercifully final squirting, spitting and splatting float rolled by, a mop brigade brought up the rear — a first for any parade I’ve ever seen. And an apt ending to a parade that, in my opinion, is all wet (sorry, it was unavoidable).
It’s a shame, really, because the Pixar Play Parade looks like an improvement over Block Party Bash, of which I was never a big fan. I loved the beautiful new floats, the must-see “Incredibles” hovercraft and the twirling acrobats.
But mostly I felt bad for the 100-odd performers in the show, from whom I shielded my eyes for fear they’d assault me with a water pistol or douse me with a fire hose. Sadly, it may take a tragic slip and fall by one of the 12-foot-tall stilt walkers to force the Disney lawyers to switch the H20 to bubbles.