Beaches and Cream Soda Shop at Disney’s Beach Club Resort has never had a dessert menu for the faint of heart, but three new milkshakes continue to push the envelope.

They’re so new that they aren’t even on the menu yet, just this weird printed photo is all Disney has to show you what these things look like. Wisely, they elected to neglect the $14 price point on the sheet.

Yes, we two grown adult male bloggers ordered three giant shakes for the benefit of you the reader. We received a lot of strange looks from those around us. I told one man that I did this for work. He seemed completely bewildered by my statement and turned around.

It is also worth noting that a strange woman came in to Beaches and Cream looking just to get photos of the shakes. The cast members tried their best to to talk her into sitting at the counter and ordering them, but she refused and simply stood in the restaurant until the cast members were nice enough to hold our shakes (at a distance) for her to take a picture of. So yeah, it has been a day. Anyway, the shakes…

Mickey Confetti Vanilla Shake ($14.00)

This vanilla milkshake is topped with an entire frosted “funfetti” cupcake and chocolate Mickey balloon, with rainbow sprinkles encircling the edge of the jar. The souvenir mason jars that you get to keep are plastic and feature the Beaches and Cream Soda Shop logo on one side and the Disney’s Beach Club Resort logo on the other. Interestingly enough, they say Lake Buena Vista, FL on them as well. I’ve never actually seen this kind of location indicator on a Disney product, usually just souvenirs from Planet Hollywood or Rainforest Cafe. We probably could have done without it. It’s also worth noting that the Beaches and Cream logo is quite off-center, and these are printed on and not decals, so there’s no fixing it either.

This is a plain vanilla shake until you break down the topping into it. That’s why the are giving you these extra-wide paper straws. This is solid, but still rather plain even once the cake is in there.

Chocolate Brownie Shake ($14.00)

This one is a chocolate shake with chocolate sauce, a chocolate sprinkle rim, chocolate brownie, and chocolate pieces. The winner of the bunch, the brownie was nice and soft and blended beautifully into the chocolate shake. If you’re going to get one of these, let this be it.

Strawberry Minnie Shake ($14.00)

This strawberry shake also features strawberry sauce, a full-sized strawberry-frosted chocolate cupcake, Oreo cookie ears, and a chocolate bow. While it takes a pretty picture, the cupcake leaves a lot to be desired and the shake itself is probably better without the very artificial frosting getting in there. For much less money, you can have a strawberry shake here anyway, you just won’t get the mason jar.

In review, I wouldn’t order these over some of my favorite desserts here, namely the No Way Jose or any version of the Kitchen Sink. Price-wise, these are a losing deal too as any of the other ice cream treats here are a better value (i.e. more to share). Also, the alcoholic shakes are less than these, as are all of the giant sundaes (mind you they don’t come with a souvenir cup). While Beaches and Cream has been forced into this trend, I’d only get these if you absolutely need this plastic jar or must have a picture of these for social media. The jar is pretty cute, but it’s probably not worth missing out on your existing favorites. I’m now going through peanut butter and ice cream withdrawals…

More from beaches and Cream Soda Shop

• REVIEW: Dinner And Ice Cream At Beaches & Cream Soda Shop at Disney’s Beach Club Resort

• REVIEW: Beaches & Cream Introduces 3 Varieties of Loaded Fries

• REVIEW: Beaches & Cream Soda Shop Introduces Amazing Alcoholic Milkshakes

Tom Corless